Category Archives: Life Blog

Gadgets & Magic That Make Air Travel Less Stressful

While flying from Cincinnati to Dublin, Ireland, recently, I found myself somewhat unprepared for the discomforts of air travel. The universe spoke to me, however, and solutions popped up in unexpected places, I made note, implemented them on the journey home, and am here to tell you what I found.

I was already prepared for leg cramps by wearing compression socks and taking potassium tablets before take off, and that worked. No cramps this time.  I took an allergy pill to help with ear pain or clogged ears, and had a travel pillow and blanket. The allergy pill wasn’t enough, however, as we experienced intense ear pain during the final descent, and had clogged ears for a few hours after landing. I used the pillow, and was very glad I had it since the airline pillows are small and flat.

As chance would have it, soon after landing, I saw an ad about special earplugs to use while flying that helped with the ear pain, and are sold in airport stores. So on our way out of Dublin, we stopped in the airport store and bought two pairs of EarPlanes.  We followed the instructions, and they actually worked. We just had minor ear pain on descent this time, and our ears unplugged sooner.

Another problem that may arrive while traveling is waiting in hot lines or getting over-heated waiting for take-off, which can cause stress, and even panic in some. I found a great way to feel cool, comfy, and in control is to wear a portable fan around my neck. I have the O2 Cool model, which can be ordered, is 5″ x 2.5″ x 1″, lightweight, battery operated, and sends s cool breeze upward toward your face when wearing it. There’s something about having a breeze on your face that is calming, so I used it often to stay cool and relaxed.

So we’ve covered some gadgets, now how about the magic? I have found having a positive attitude, and expecting things to go smoothly sets the tone for an enjoyable travel experience.  The imagination can work for you or against you, and why not be kind to yourself and use it to imagine the best. If you have a fear of flying, imagine you are flying with Luke Skywalker as he easily navigates the galaxy. Experts say to stay hydrated while flying because cabin pressure causes a fast lose of moisture in the air, so it’s best to pass on the cocktails, and drink plenty of water in order to feel your best. No alcohol it ease your nerves?  Again, kick in those imagination and relaxation techniques.

Keep calming techniques in mind and handy during all parts of your travels. For example, if you find yourself sitting on a tour bus and having to use the restroom, try doing some yoga breathing to calm yourself until they stop for a restroom break. Yoga breathing is taking a breath in through your nose, and then out through your mouth for a while. Another way to calm oneself is simply to hum a pleasant tune, read anything available, or do some story-telling with your companion, or just tell yourself that everything will be OK instead imagining the worst things that could happen, and worrying if you find yourself in uncomfortable situations.

On my trip to Dublin, I found myself trying all of the comfort techniques above, and they worked. I even had my little fan going one night in bed when the temperature of the room was warm, and the hotel did not have air conditioning. Traveling to new places, seeing new things, talking to new people enriches your life and feeds your soul. A trip can be a delicious, intense, amazing little slice of life, and having a handle on the stresses of travel can be just the ticket to living your dreams.

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How To Access Your Subconscious & Use Your Inner Guide

Have you ever wondered if someone can really predict the future?  According to New York Times bestselling author, Larry Dossey, M.D., everyone is capable of predictions.  In his book, The Power of Premonitions: How Knowing the Future Can Shape Our Lives, he says predictions of the future can come in your dreams or just be hunches and emotions, and that experiments have consistently shown “that human beings are as wired to know what’s coming next as we are to see, feel, hear, and think.” (Click on link above to order book).

I had the opportunity to experience this recently when I had a vivid dream after days of wondering just what I should be doing with my free time.  I am an empty-nester who was recently laid off from work which gave me time to do everything from home-improvement projects to writing the novel I have always wanted to write, to learning Spanish, to taking a job just to have a job…you get the picture.

I went to bed after wresting with what to do, and by morning I had my answer.  I had a dream where I was arguing with Dr. House on TV, and he shouted at me angrily, “what are you doing?”  I shouted back, “I’m a writer, bubba!”  He then shouted, “then challenge me.”  I thought about it all morning and realized I wanted to start writing ASAP.  I had heard of a website that posted freelance written articles that I had wanted to try at one point, so I went there and applied as a freelance writer.  They accepted me and I began writing, and have written an article every week for several months now, and I LOVE it!

I’m not sure if my dream was a prediction of my future or the voice of my subconscious guiding to my pure heart’s desire, but I know I take my dreams much more seriously now.  In Dr. Dossey’s book, he describes numerous dreams people had that turned out to be predictions of actual events like the events on 9/11/01.  He also documents the many times that, because someone took their dreams seriously, lives were saved.  It is a fascinating look at research and experiments that support the possibility of premonitions, and how you can make your life more premonition-prone.

For more information on dreams and intuition, read “How to Use Your Dreams and Intuition to Improve Your Life.”

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Secrets On How To Find A Good Husband

How to Find A Good Husband For Women Who Need To Have It Spelled Out

This is the secret formula for finding a good husband that many women instinctively know, but others, like myself, need to have spelled out to them.  I had one, short, horrible marriage in my early 20’s, and spent the next 20 years trying to find a good husband.  Through excruciating trial and error, I finally figured it out.  I married a wonderful man at the age of 43, and helped many of my friends, my daughter, and her friends take a short cut to finding the right man by following my technique.  They all said that I should write it down, so here I am.  Read, Learn, and Enjoy!

Meeting The Right Man
This is not as hard as it seems.  Simply be willing to try dating, keep an open mind, and be patient.  Opportunities sometimes come when you least expect them.  Do what you would do if you weren’t looking for someone.  Focus on your life, but also keep an eye for opportunities.  For example, if a friend wants to set you up…go.  Be available, but not on the hunt.  This is the first step to attracting a man who will respect you.

The First Date
First of all, a date is where a man picks you up, takes you some place nice, and pays for it.  Remember that.  If someone you are interested in asks for anything less, say, “no thank you.” I used the word “respect” above, and that is the key to the whole process, much less a happy relationship with a man.

Men like to chase…..so let them.   They also tend to marry someone they respect…..so make them.  This early stage is very important…it sets the tone for the future.  I believe you should let the man ask you for a date, don’t even bring up the subject.  Be friendly, keep yourself attractive and healthy…that is all.  Do not push, if he isn’t interested in dating you enough to ask for a date, let him go, he is not the right one.  In the past, I would subtly pursue the men who didn’t seem interested in me at all, and the men who were genuinely smitten with me, were quickly dismissed.  Two points to make from that:  1) We like men who are a little distant.  Likewise, men prefer women who are a little hard to get.  2)  Consider letting yourself be deeply loved by someone you don’t have too work hard to get…start giving those guys a chance.

Even if you have an incredible first date, and feel like you love him already, keep a little distant.  Let him initiate all physical affection, do not, under any circumstance, have sex with him that night.  Say “goodnight” politely….if you don’t get a kiss….all the better.  If he is truly interested in having a serious relationship with you, he will come back for more.

Dating
First, I will clarify what this actually means.  Dating is the period of time a couple spends getting to know each other.  It means you spend time together, and spend time apart.  It means you share experiences that give you information to decide if this is someone you want to live the rest of your life with.  You are not “trying to get him to marry you” during this time….you are simply learning.  I strongly suggest continuing the structure of the first date.  If he asks you to “come over,” for example, and watch him work on some project, that is not a date, and diminishes who you are in the relationship….it says your time is not as important as his.  Asking a girlfriend to “come over,” is a common request of men, and it doesn’t mean he is not a good man.  It simply means, you must continue to set the rules on what you do when you spend time together, do not leave it up to him.  If he asks you to “come over,” simply say “no thanks,” and wait for him to ask you out on a real date.  No reason to get angry…just, no thanks.

Dating and Emotions
This can be very tricky, and it can often make or break a relationship.  Men are different in this area, and it’s very important to remember it.  For example, you had a really great date with him….there was intimacy, closeness, sparks…you are thrilled with this relationship…then he calls.  He seems distant….doesn’t talk very long, and initiates an abrupt hang-up.  You are devastated.  Chances are, this is just him being a man.  After a man has had a close emotional experience, he needs time away from it….this has nothing to do with you…it’s just what he needs to do to continue the relationship.  If you expect this to happen, it will be easier to deal with.  It may take every ounce of will-power you have, but do not pursue him at this time….let him go…very important!  This is your time to catch up on errands, or do anything you might want to do without him.  If he doesn’t call when he normally does….don’t panic.  If a man is allowed to pull away emotionally, and come back when he is ready, he will come back with all the passion he had the last time you two shared a close time. Try letting him go, and watch the magic.

The way a man pulls away emotionally can also teach you a lot about him.  There should be some consistency in his pattern of movement.  If it is too inconsistent, or the times during which he is distant are unreasonably long, he may not be capable of a close, intimate, mature relationship where your needs will be met.  Remember, don’t try to make him be someone he is not….just watch and learn.  Gather the information so you can make the right decision.

Is He Mr. Right?
Remember, you are looking for someone to live the rest of your life with.  Someone you can trust completely, and who makes you happy.  It sounds simple, but it is easy for a man to cloud the issue with charm.  Decide what are truly the traits most important to you in a man…and stick with them. For example, if you want a non-smoker, don’t date men who smoke.  Eventually, the charm wears off, and you are left with just the behaviors, so make sure you can live with them.  This doesn’t mean you should only date men who meet your qualifications precisely.  Just don’t push unacceptable behavior under the rug.  Let him know how you feel.  Men have been known to change a bad habit or two when push comes to shove.  This, of course, is something you work out during the dating process, not after you are married.

Popping The Question
First of all, if the man asks you to live with him, it is not a proposal.  If you want a husband, don’t settle for less.  I see it as disrespectful for a man to ask a woman to live with him.  She is giving up the dignity of being a wife, to be a girlfriend who acts like a wife.  Men typically do not want to jump into marriage.  So the subject must be approached carefully.

My rule of thumb for even considering marriage is to date someone at least one full year.  If things are going well by this time, you are probably spending a lot of time together…..more time than people who are just dating should.  If he doesn’t bring up the subject of marriage….bring it up.  Let him know that you expect his intensions to be honorable.  Once again, it’s all about respect.  Even a very good man may tell you adamantly that he isn’t ready for marriage.  That is OK, you have said your piece.  Continue dating him, be friendly, but a little distant.  Maybe turn down a date, for instance.  After all, he may never want to marry you, in which case, the relationship would need to end at some point.  All women deserve the respect of a formal commitment.

One of two things will happen next.  He will either surprise you with a proposal (they like to do that), or you will have to bring up the subject again.  Let him think about it for a while.  Sometimes that is all they need.  If a considerable amount of time has gone by, let’s say, 9 months, and he hasn’t made any mention of marriage, it’s time to get to the nitty gritty.  You most likely will be feeling resentful by now, especially if you are spending more and more time together….like husband and wife.  It is time to get engaged or end the relationship.  Just tell him how you feel.  You are angry, you feel taken advantage of, and you deserve to be married. Again, because the man has resisted marriage doesn’t mean he isn’t a good man.  It is just in their nature to resist.  If it is meant to be, he will step up to the plate.

The Wedding
This is the first event of your lives that you are planning together.   As happy as this occasion is, it can also generate a lot of stress and roller-coaster emotions.  I believe your main goal should be to create an event that you will truly enjoy, and something that will reflect the spirit of this precious moment in your lives.  My advice…..be honest, completely honest.  Don’t worry about pleasing others….this is your day.  Don’t be surprised if your husband-to-be doesn’t seem as interested in the wedding as you do…..again, this is normal for a man.  I was happy to plan my wedding to suit my liking, and my husband was happy to plan the honeymoon.  A simple division of labor kept us both busy, and out of each other’s hair.  The wedding should comfortably accommodate the people you plan to invite within a reasonable budget.  In other words, make a conscious effort to avoid as much stress as possible, so that you can truly enjoy the occasion.  Weddings don’t need to be elaborate to be poignant.

Happily Ever After
So you’re married….yea!!  But what happens now. It would seem that the game plan would have to change once you have achieved the goal.  Actually, the rules don’t change.  He isn’t your father, your brother, your son, your therapist, or your girlfriend…therefore, the game is still on.  To keep the sparks alive, he still needs to chase you some times.  That’s right…..continue to be independent.  Distance and secrets aren’t always bad things.  You have a life-time to get to know each other….there is no need to rush it.  Surprises keep interest and romance alive.

You will also need to continue to set limits and the house rules that create a respectful atmosphere for yourself.  In other words, he is still a man, so he still has some undesirable tendencies.   This is not license for you to become a nag, however.  Respect goes both ways.   Be honest and respectful and enjoy!

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